Collecting shopping trolleys for work led to new life in Christ  

When I left my job working in a supermarket as a checkout operator in Cambridge, I swore that I would never return to a job like that. I felt that my life had been a disappointment up to that point. My parents got divorced when I was 16 and in the middle of my A-levels. Much of my mother's time was now taken up by her new partner and I didn't see my Dad much as he moved to the next county. I had been teased at school and had a low view of myself. My plan was to leave home, go to college, do a degree in Graphic Design and get a well paid job. I was going to turn my back on what had been my life up to that point and start again. By now I was using alcohol, soft drugs, heavy music and pornography to placate myself.

I didn't get into my first choice of college and ended up in Southampton. I didn't like Southampton or my course or the people on my course. I began to fall behind with the course work and get depressed. I made a few friends but I bored them with my complaints about everything. I could not quit my course because I had put all my hopes in this new life. When I started my second year of the course I became increasingly stressed and confused. I found it difficult to eat, sleep or control my thoughts. My thoughts and behavior became more and more irrational. I would take long walks for no reason long into the night and throw my possessions away. I even thought that I might be the Antichrist. Eventually my housemates called my parents and my Dad came to collect me from college and I quit my course.

Then I was back in Cambridge living at home with my mother and with her obnoxious partner making frequent visits. I was shamed and deeply unhappy. This caused frequent rows with my mother. She insisted that I get a job so as not to waste my life and to earn money to pay rent. It also got me out of the house. I took the only job that I thought I could cope with considering my fragile state. I went back to the supermarket that I worked in before I left for college. I worked outside collecting trolleys in the car park to avoid the customers and other staff. It was a very low point in my life and I was thinking deeply about what had gone wrong with my life.

It was whilst working there that I met Mark, a committed Christian. He worked part-time at the supermarket to save money for his theological training at Oak Hill. The rest of his time was taken up by youth work at a large evangelical church in the centre of town. Mark had a totally different attitude to work than me. I was often late, I loathed the job and had a quiet contempt for most of my colleagues. Mark however appeared to enjoy the work and was friendly to everybody. Mark and I had many interesting conversations in the car park as we worked together. The subject of Christianity inevitably arose. I was impressed with Mark’s confidence that he was going to heaven compared to the chaos and fear I had experienced in my life. I was interested in the supernatural after the possible spiritual attack I experienced in Southampton. I accepted Mark’s challenge to read a part of the Bible, Mark’s Gospel, for myself.

After reading Mark’s Gospel I had many more questions. Mark suggested that I might be interested in joining a course called “Christianity Explored”, hosted by his church. I also started attending Sunday services. It was completely out of character for me to go to church, but I thought to myself that matters couldn’t get much worse so I should give it a try. I would usually sit at the very back and watch. I hid my new interest in going to church from my family because they were thoroughly secular and I thought they wouldn’t understand. As weeks went on I got to make friends at this church and understood my need to make a personal decision to follow Jesus. I knew that these Christians, strange as they might be, had something that I needed.